


Keith Kogane Tries to Keep Up With a Professional Chef | Back-to-Back Chef | Bon Appétit

by eggyeggplant



Series: Bon Appétit [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Flirting, Fluff, Food, M/M, YouTube
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:33:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23611597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eggyeggplant/pseuds/eggyeggplant
Summary: Actor Keith Kogane appears in a YouTube video with an old friend Lance McClain in an episode of Back-to-Back Chef where they attempt to make simple carbonara but they keep getting distracted by flirting with each other.
Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Series: Bon Appétit [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1706269
Comments: 18
Kudos: 335





	Keith Kogane Tries to Keep Up With a Professional Chef | Back-to-Back Chef | Bon Appétit

**Author's Note:**

> I love Bon Appetit and I was super indecisive about who should be the guest appearance and who should be the 'professional chef' but whatever, what's done is done. Finito.

This is possibly the most popular recent upload on Bon Appetit so far at 10,028,209 views, titled ‘Keith Kogane Tries to Keep Up With a Professional Chef | Back-to-Back Chef | Bon Appétit.’

The video starts with Lance waving and beaming at the camera, his other arm tossed over the shoulders of the video’s special guest, who has his arms crossed in front of his chest and a slight smile on his face.

“Hey guys, it’s Lance. I’m here in the Bon Appetit test kitchen today with another episode of Back-to-Back Chef. We’ve seen your comments and prayers, and we’ve decided to make all your dreams come true with today’s special guest. We actually go way back. Like, we used to go to the Garrison together--yaknow, before we both dropped out so I could become _this_ and he could become a mega-acting-superstar. Everything worked out anyways, so, I’m super stoked about doing this episode with my buddy, my pal, the one, the only, Keith Kogane. That’s right folks, Keith Kogane from Blade of Marmora, season two out now. Check it out, episode one is now available for streaming on Netflix. Tell me, how excited are you for today, Keith-y?”

“Pretty excited I guess? It’s really good to see you again, Lance,” Keith says, staring at Lance with the kind of softness in his eyes that should be reserved for puppies frolicking with kittens or something, _not_ when Lance is actually trying to do his job. He can literally feel his ears starting to burn and hopes Pidge doesn’t catch any of it on camera.

“I’m always happy to see you, Keith.” Ugh, that sounded way too sincere and emotional. Lance whips his head back to the camera before Keith can look into his soul with those gorgeous purple eyes and see how much he really means that.

“Today we have twenty minutes to make a simple carbonara recipe. It’s super easy to make, and you don’t need a whole lot of ingredients to whip some up. I’m sure you could make a few substitutes, but this recipe does have a whole lot of eggs, cheese, and pork. We’re going to see if Keith can follow along with me through verbal instructions only. Are you up for the challenge?”

Keith smirks, rolling up his sleeves to reveal muscular forearms. He raises an eyebrow at Lance and says with a raw confidence only found in those with big dick energy, “I’ve been ready. I am _excellent_ with a knife.”

Lance ignores his gay panic and points at the camera again, “And everyone at home could know too, just check out Blade of Marmora, season two out now! Anyways, we’ll both turn around and start cooking. We will not be able to see each other until we’re done. One, two, three!” 

-

“In front of you, there is a large pot of water on the burner that should be simmering. Do you see it?”

“Yeah,” Keith says, dipping a finger in the water for no reason. “It feels kinda hot.”

“You’re going to-- _did you just?_ Did you just touch the pot?”

“ _No_ , I touched the water. How else am I going to know if it’s hot enough?” Lance stares at the camera in front of him, an incredulous expression on his face. He really wants to turn around so bad.

“The _steam_? You know what, I’m not even going to--we only have twenty minutes. Take some salt from the small bowl in front of your cutting board and we’re going to season generously. It’s the white grainy looking stuff.” Keith dips a pinky into the salt and tastes it, wrinkling his nose at the saltiness.

“I know what salt looks like, who do you take me for? I got it,” Keith says, dumping the whole bowl of salt in the pot and setting it off to the side.

“Okay good, and reserve some for later just in case.” Keith freezes, makes a motion to turn around but Pidge makes an X motion behind the camera.

“For sure, but what would happen if I didn’t?”

“Nothing too awful. Your pasta could possibly be bland, but that’s okay because we’re reserving some of the pasta water anyways. The pork and cheese should also add some saltiness to it too. Next to your cutting board you should see a package of guanciale-- before you ask, it looks like bacon. We’re going to open it up and cut it into small pieces. The size you might find in a salad or something.”

“I don’t eat salads,” Keith says absentmindedly, voice muffled as he uses his teeth to tear at the packaging.

“Keith, we have scissors and knives. Stop being a feral child,” Lance says exasperatedly, already halfway done cutting his guanciale into neat, uniformed pieces. “Can someone hand him a pair of scissors?”

Keith waves away the help, setting his meat on the cutting board. “I _said_ I got it.” Despite his confidence in his knife skills, Pidge can’t hide the small noises they make when Keith saws the knife back and forth through the pork, fingers untucked.

“Is it bad Pidge, do I want to know?” Pidge shakes their head and Lance hesitates, leaning back slightly but keeping his eyes forward.

“Do you need any help, Keith? Is everything going okay?”

“Yep, totally. Do they all have to be the same size?”

“Preferably, but if they’re not it’s okay.”

“Doesn’t sound like it,” Keith grumbles. He sets his knife down and looks at his work appraisingly.

“We’re running short on time, so let’s set this aside for now. You have a block of cheese in front of you somewhere and we’re going to grate it in a bowl to use later. Let’s do about a fourth of the block of cheese, which should be roughly two ounces.”

“I’m lactose intolerant,” Keith says.

“I thought of that, genius,” Lance says, “natural, aged cheese has less lactose and should be okay for most lactose intolerant people. Also, I asked your brother if it was okay for you to eat it.”

“Do you have my brother’s number?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Lance shrugs, “although if you must know, one time we were in the same class and we had a Christmas potluck. I made five cheese mac and cheese and you didn’t touch it at all. When I asked if you tried it, you definitely told me you would never eat something like that.”

“I’m _lactose intolerant_ ,” Keith stresses.

“I know that _now_ , but tell that to heartbroken fourteen year old Lance-y who didn’t know anything until your brother informs me that while I’m trying to silently cry my feelings out in the boy’s restroom. I was going to ask you for your number after you fell in love with my cooking.” Lance hates being too real about his feelings; it's hard to joke about a traumatic experience in his past and write it off as just a funny story. Keith mulls over this information while grating his cheese.

“Did you still want my nu-”

“ARE YOU DONE WITH THE CHEESE?” Keith stares at the half block he’s managed to grate and sets it down.

“Yeah, looks pretty good?”

“Okay, now we’re going to break some eggs. It’s six eggs in total, you’re going to separate the yolk from the whites of four eggs and keep two of them as is. Then we’re going to whisk the two eggs with four yolks all together with most of the cheese. Set aside like a handful of cheese so we can use it to garnish at the end.”

“Why don’t we just use all the eggs? Seems like more work to separate them.”

“The texture, the consistency, the creaminess! Just do it, Keith. I promise it’s worth the extra effort.” Lance does a dramatic chef’s kiss to the camera; Pidge adds an unnecessarily loud smooching noise to the audio in the video.

“If it’s anything like you, then it should be,” Keith grumbles under his breath. Pidge definitely captures that audio and adds that tidbit in the captions.

“What?” Lance is concentrated on separating his eggs properly so his yolks don’t break, genuinely not hearing Keith.

“Nothing, just separating eggs like you told me.” There’s definitely more egg whites and pieces of shell on the counter than there should be, but overall everything’s looking pretty good.

“Let’s grind some pepper in there and set it aside for now. The pepper grinder looks like a fancy wooden stick.”

“Looks like a dildo,” Keith mouths at the camera, before saying, “How many times do I turn it?”

“Whatever feels good, like maybe four? Five times?”

“Got it,” Keith says, fumbling with the pepper grinder. “So, how are you?”

“Doing pretty well, my eggs and cheese seem pretty well combined and my station is as clean as I could want it. How about you?”

“Uh, almost there, but I meant like how are you doing? In life I guess? I just haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Oh, well, after I left the Garrison, I went to culinary school and found my true calling. I worked with Hunk for a bit at this fancy restaurant before we both started working here. I always thought if I was going to do Youtube, then I would be doing skincare or makeup but this is surprisingly really fun too? I haven’t thought too much about the rest of my life but I’m chilling, you know?” Lance is having no trouble whipping the egg mixture steadily, while Keith stops every once in a while to rest his arm, surprised by how much of a workout beating eggs could be.

-

“Okay, now, we’re going to cook the guanciale until they’re crispy and releasing all the good aromas we want for our dish. Put a generous amount of extra-virgin olive oil into the Dutch oven and when the surface starts to shimmer, we’re going to add our pork and cook until they’re a delicious caramel brown color, like yours truly. We’ll stir with the large wooden spoon in the container in front of you. DO NOT TOUCH THE OIL WITH YOUR FINGERS KEITH, I MEAN IT.”

“I got it,” Keith says, “what is a Dutch oven?”

“It’s the other pot, it’s not literally an oven,” Lance says. Keith uses the lid like a shield while he quickly drops the guanciale into the Dutch oven and peeks over his shield to watch it start sizzling.

“While that’s cooking we’re going to add our dry pasta to the boiling salted water. We’re also moving our guanciale in the Dutch oven back and forth so it doesn’t burn and cooks evenly.”

“Got it,” Keith says, determined to get this right. He stirs the pasta in the boiling water vigorously with a pair of tongs, his other hand moving the wooden spoon in the dutch oven just as vigorously.

“Tell everyone that doesn’t watch Blade of Mamora at home what it’s about while we wait.”

Keith’s brows furrow as he tries to concentrate on everything he’s doing and talking, “It’s a group of ex-convicts trying to break out their friends from jail and reform the justice system by taking out the people in charge. My character, Yorak, was a newbie who went to jail for theft but ends up getting involved in something way bigger than him and he gets to grow as a person and think about others more than just himself.”

“Based on real events?”

“No, but they could be. It’s one of those stories that’s an embellished version of what really happens to people and what people want to have happen when they’re in those kinds of situations. Not everyone that goes to jail is bad, some are in there because they are, but some just wound up in the wrong place at the wrong time. Then there are some other people, who are just trying to make up for whatever they did wrong by doing things right--oh shit, wait can I curse on this video? My bacon is looking really dark now.” Pidge inserts an aerial shot of Keith’s Dutch oven, which doesn’t look too bad so far, but there is a fair amount of dark bits floating around in the oil.

“Ooh, yeah, I”m just about there as well. Let’s take it off the heat. Take the spoon and transfer the pork into a small, empty bowl. There’s a lot of fat so just pour some of it out, keep about three tablespoons and we can throw out the rest.”

“You make this look so _easy_.” Lance preens under the compliment, fluttering his eyelashes at the camera and blowing it a kiss while he wipes the side of the Dutch oven so it’s a bit cleaner.

“Pasta should be almost done, take your measuring cup and reserve about a cup and three fourths of the pasta water and we’re going to use that later.”

Keith attempts to tilt the heavy pot to pour liquid into the small measuring cup, until Pidge takes pity on him and whispers, “Just dunk the measuring cup into the pot, dude!”

“What was he going to do?” Lance almost turns around, dying to see what was happening behind him.

“I’m doing _fine_ , you’re going to have your mind blown when you see my pasta.”

“Mmmkay, we’ll find out later anyways. For now, we’re going to drain the pasta in the colander that’s in the sink to your left and we’re going to dump the pasta into the Dutch oven that has our lovely flavored fat and oil and turn the heat back on so it cooks more in the flavor.”

“I thought colander was a leaf,” Keith says. Lance giggles, turning his heat back on. Keith’s chest puffs up a little bit, happy to have made Lance laugh while they’re cooking together.

“ _Coriander_ is an herb, if that’s what you’re talking about.”

“That’s what I meant to say,” Keith says smugly, for no reason.

“Okay Keith, I hope you’re stirring your noodles with the tongs, we don’t want them to start clumping. An even coating, just like when I used to spray tan to try and look cool.”

“I’m doing that, stirring things. You never needed it by the way, your skin always looks good the way it is,” Keith says, using the tongs to pick up a few strands of noodles and dangling it above his head, chasing the noodles into his mouth for a taste. Lance, unaware of the stupid happening behind him, blushes like crazy. Are they really flirting on camera? Lance is not going to survive.

“Thanks then, Keith-y. I appreciate it, we all appreciate some good compliments every once in a while. Pidge, please edit a graphic of a star for Keith.” In the video, Pidge edits a star pinned to Keith’s chest for the timeframe it takes him to slurp his taster noodles, zooming in on his facial expression. Kombucha girl meets bland noodles boy, a meme in the making if she’s successful.

“When it seems like the water is reduced by half, we’re going to take the Dutch oven off the heat because we don’t want the egg and cheese mixture to cook too fast and turn into scrambled eggs. We’re just going to gently pour the egg and cheese into the pot until it becomes saucy. You don’t have any more salt I think, but it should be okay. We’ll taste it and if it’s not salty enough, you can borrow some of mine.” Lance streams the mixture into the pot while mixing gently, but Keith straight up just pours the whole thing in and stirs forcefully.

“No, it’s good,” Keith says, then he looks at the pot again, unsure, then shrugs and continues to mix, pasta starting to break apart in his Dutch oven.

“Now you can add the guanciale back into the Dutch oven and then we’re going to start plating.”

“Sounds good,” Keith says, picking up a small handful of the pork pieces and tossing it in his mouth just to taste.

“Use your tongs to pick up a sizable amount of pasta, and we’re going to rotate the plate while we gently put it down so it holds a nice shape. Make sure to get a little bit of everything on the plate so it looks nice. Guanciale, the remaining cheese, salt if you want any, more pepper, whatever will make it look and taste good.”

Keith, inspired by his desire to make his plate presentable, purposefully arranges the guanciale and cheese so that it’s a cheerful looking happy face.

“Are we done yet?” Lance holds up his plate, waiting to turn around.

“No,” Keith accidentally put too much cheese on the eyes, but at least he tried. 

“The pasta is going to get cold,” Lance complains, wondering if he should add more black pepper on top.

“Okay, now I’m ready.” Keith’s oily thumb smudges the clean sides of the plate, but he’s never claimed to be a professional.

“Pick up your plate and we’ll just turn around and see what we’ve got! One, two, three!” Lance and Keith turn around simultaneously. Pidge inserts graphics of confetti, followed by a close-up of Lance’s genuinely shocked expression.

“Oh! Wow! I don’t know what I was expecting, but that is really something!”

“What were you expecting?”

“I don’t know,” Lance says, “but I kinda want to take a picture of this!”

-

The video jumps to when Keith and Lance are sitting down, their finished products in front of them. A snazzy red and white checkered tablecloth and a small bottle with fresh flowers is set between them, distracting from the mess they left behind them.

“Now we’re going to switch, you’re going to have mine and I’m going to have yours.”

“Do you really want to eat this?”

“I do, actually,” Lance says, switching their plates. “This looks so good! Your pasta is just a little bit more bloated and there is a little bit of clumping but I’m going to admit, when you kept saying you got this, I wasn’t sure I believed you. You got your guanciale looking super crispy and you plated it so cutely!”

“You definitely shouldn’t have had full faith in me, do you think we need to have a paramedic around?” Keith playfully pretends to go search for one, sitting back down when Lance weakly punches his bicep (that he totally flexed a bit.)

“By the way, P.S. to all of our lovely Bon Appetit viewers, tune in next week because Keith is going to show us how to make his infamous jailhouse cup noodles that he made in season 1, episode 3 of Blade of Marmora.” Keith shows a thumbs up to the camera.

“It actually doesn’t taste that bad,” Keith says.

“Really?”

“I’m lying so hard,” Keith says, laughing at Lance’s dramatics when he pretends to look super disappointed.

“Let’s just try this,” Lance says, piling a little bit of everything onto one forkful. He takes a careful bite, whereas Keith just takes a heaping forkful and shoves it in his mouth, uncaring if it doesn’t all fit at once and biting off the excess. Lance takes one look at Keith and almost spits his mouthful back out. Keith looks back at him, then they’re both trying not to laugh, a much harder struggle for Keith.

“Dude! Half the plate is inside your mouth,” Lance wheezes, reaching for a glass of water.

“This is how I always eat!”

“Like The Rock in The Game Plan?”

“What?”

“Dude, you’re an actor and you’ve never watched The Game Plan?”

Keith leans back, arm thrown over the back of his chair. “Am I supposed to?”

Lance gets all up in Keith’s face, poking his muscular chest pointedly. “Yes!”

Keith grabs Lance’s offending finger and refuses to let go when Lance tries to pull back. “Then watch it with me!”

“Maybe I will!”

“Okay then!”

“Okay!”

“So are you going to give me your number this time?”

“Pidge, CUT!”

-

Video comments:

‘10:08 omg did he just say dildo or is that just me’

‘I heard they went on a date after this and now they’re boyfriends!’

‘did you hear keith actually did go to jail once, and that’s why he was casted for BoM?’

‘Lol at 3:09 when lance tells keith to reserve some salt i’m crying hIS FACE’

‘they both went to the garrison?? goals, that school is for geniuses or something man. can’t believe they left willingly but i’m glad they did’

‘so did keith ever watch the game plan or’

‘pidge has the best graphics for everything i swear’

‘I totally saw lance and keith holding hands in the background of the last video of gourmet makes where hunk makes gourmet gummy worms’

‘does lance know that yorak’s BoM jailhouse cup noodles is supposed to be made with bathroom sink water save our boy’

‘9:45 Did keith imply that lance is worth the effort, man’s got taste’

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed. Stay safe at home during these times, folks.


End file.
